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Re: My Daughter's Gay

Posted by **murray** on Aug 18, 2013 at 9:39:02 AM:
In Reply to: Re: My Daughter's Gay posted by **pycb** on Aug 18, 2013 at 9:23:49 AM:

** Let me preface this by saying that I asked her if it would be okay to be forthright to say this if and when I felt the urge to do so.. She gave me her permission. ..
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** She came out to us in late 2002....I think we were more upset with the fact that she had been lying to us for months. She referred to her partner as just a friend. Her mother and I could both see the intensity she would exhibit when there was some disagreement between her and her partner...It went beyond the normal range for friendship. So, we knew she was jiving us before she admitted as much. Her mom was more emotionally invested in the son-in-aw followed by grandchildren dream than I was...That was a process she had to go through...My main problem was that I felt I had a pretty good read on her emotional capacity. I was emainly with whether she had the tough shell to withstand the shit would encounter from the straight world...
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**But did we disown her or make any threats to do so? No. Did I tell her she would burn in hell if she didn't throw down her wicked ways as might be expected of the right-wing stereotype some paint me as being? Absolutely not.
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**We were there for her all the way and she would eagerly confir that, There isn't a doubt in my mind.
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** A lot of what we've encountered with relationships she's had are the same things we'd deal with had she not been hetero and not gay. We might not have liked a partner who was male any more than we liked her partner who was female The issues we had often were about control freakism, jealousy, personality clashes, , and so on...
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**We're extremely proud of her. She has stayed true to herself all this time and did not flinch when she was confronted with the demands of those who looked upon her life less than favorably. She's a mighty gutsy one and it's hard not to admire that.
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**She'll always be our brat and our door will always be open.
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*good for you & your wife...........
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*getting angry & having the stereotypical reaction most folks seem to think happens when they learn of this would have only served to drive her away
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*when one realizes that this is not something they choose to be but who they are - your only choice is to accept it & simply be happy that they have learned to accept themselves for who they are
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*it also shows the strong & loving bond you've developed with your children in that they feel comfortable being honest with you
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*I believe you know I have two gay brothers both in committed, long term relationships (married to their partners). I've never looked at them as anything other then my brothers & refer to both of their partners as my brothers-in-law.
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*They're happy & well adjusted & the family is happy for them..
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*Recently my daughter told me that she thinks she is bisexual.
*This has no impact on our relationship - she's still my daughter & I love her.
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*and she'll always be........
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Technically, I'm a stepdad although she no longer feels as though she has to differentiate between me and her father...She calls me Pop and him Dad..But my wife and I knew she would get the religious condemnation bit from her father and she surely did...We had double reason to assure her that we were in her corner... She can't be open and honest about her life with her father. She can't take her partner over to his house....She still is loyal to him in spite of all this. But she knows damn well that when she comes into this house she will not have the burdens she has when she goes to see her father...




Thanks for responding, PYCB...I had a feeling you would..

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