Bagism: Library

Skywriting -- Apr 14, 1998
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Continued from Apr 13, 1998

"Ficken this!" Shouted Shawna. "This story used to be funny! Now it sucks! Paul, Paul, Paul everywhere, nothing but sex, boring, Boring, BORING!!!" She said, gettiing annoyed. "What ever happened to the Garden of Maybe? Or the plain of Yeaterday? Or George or Ringo for that matter? And what about Stu? What about Yoko? WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THIS STORY?!?!?!?!" She said, seething. This was worse than Paul farting all the time. THAT at least was good for half a giggle. This new story line was just plain Annoying. She decided to do something about it.

"Hmm... What to do first." Shawna said. "Ah. Yes, Stu." Stu was trapped in the Garden of Maybe, and she would have to go rescue him. It wouldn't be easy. She would have to cross the plain of Yesterday to get there. She would need help.

She wrote a letter, asking for help. She burned the letter, and the smoke curled it's way towards Heaven, where it wound up in the possesion of John Lennon, who was surfing the net on his computer in heaven. "Hey, this bird needs help." He said. He popped down to earth, taking on human form in the process.

"Hello." He said, appearing next to Shawna. "I got your letter. C'mon, let's go. And why don't we try to find George and Ringo while we're at it?" Ha added. "Sure." Shawna said. "Why don't we also pop in on Yoko?" She added. "Sure!" John replied, and we set off.

The plain of Yesterday was hell on both of us, but we managed to get through by helping eachother. We finally reached the gates of the Garden of Maybe. We went inside.

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! PLOT!! NOT PLOT!" screamed Paul as he ran off to find some groupie.

At the same time that Paul was having a neurotic fit, Yoko, George and Ringo were looking for John. "Hey, am I ever glad that we are back in this story..... we really add to the plot," Ringo said. "Yeah, just think of all the interestig twists we can add," Yoko said. "I just hope we stay in this time, instead of been shadowed by John," Goerge added. They were goingto continue bitching to each other but then a dimension opened up in front of them and John and Paul stepped out, "Yoko, baby, come with us to the Garden of Mabey to help us ward of "TheEvils" and keep them from invading the Earth." With that John, paul, goerge, Ringo and Yoko, all together again like they should have always been, jumped into the dimension to kick "TheEvils" but and have a helluvatime!!!!!!!

*sigh* "BUT MAYBE SOME PEOPLE WERE ENJOYING THE PAUL HAVING SEX THING!" some girl yelled out. Ringo and John looked at each other, confused. Just then Paul showed up... "You'll never guess who just got hit by a streetcar," Paul muttered casually. "No, I suspect we won't, really," said George.

"The bloody streetcar hit our dear friend Yoko!" Paul answered. This created a problem. "Actually," said Paul, "this doesn't cause a problem at all because none of us CARE!"

"I care!" John shouted. "She's my wife, did you forget?" Paul's face formed a worried expression. "Oops..."

John just looked at him. Then a smile started forming across his lips. "Oh, i forgot to tell ya, Paul... um... ah... well... we just got a call, but you weren't here. Linda was just in a massive plane crash and she's dead." Nothing seemed to register on Paul's face for a moment. then, all of a sudden, totally unexpectedly, he broke out in a gleeful dance and began laughing. "WHAT could be so funny?" George frowned at him. "YAHOO!" Paul screamed as he went and chased the first girl who walked by. "Oh, dear..." George said as he watched Paul flirting with her. "This could be a problem....

Just then The Glad Garbage Man walked up to them with his oh-so-sexy paper white hair.

John, George and Ringo broke into enthusiastic song "Built in, tyable, remarkable, reliable. double ties, make them extra securable. GLAD GARBAGE BAGS!" The GGM (GladGarbageMan) smiled with his pearly white teeth. "That's right" he said in his "i'm too cheesy for anything but television" voice.

At this point, Paul rejoined the group. He looked at the GGM oddly for a moment, as if trying to remember where he'd seen him from. Realization dawned. "Wow, you're that bloke from the Garbage Bags commercial! I'm a big fan of yours, you know" The GGM beamed. At that point, the rest of the boys noticed who Paul was with. "Why, it's jinny!" John exclaimed exctitedly (he was, of course, using his pet name for Paul's ex-ex-girlfriend Jane) "Yes, when i heard that poor Linda had died in a plane crash, i thought what the hell. Paul cheated on me a million times before, but he said he never would again, for about the 50th time in his life, but i decided to believe him this time." The others looked on her with pity.

Continued on Apr 15, 1998

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