Bagism: Library

Skywriting -- Mar 24, 1998
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Continued from Mar 23, 1998

darkness. smell of sweat. dampness. the light flickers and a hand moves away from the lamp. john lying on a bed. sweat trickles down his face. 'what a nightmare,' says our hero. creak of the door. sweet blonde head pokes in. 'you're on in 10 minutes, love.' she walks over to the bed, reaches out her hand. john touches it, feeling every line of her palm. she grasps his hand, he pulls himself off the bed. beer bottles knocked down on the floor. he leans on her. she takes him to the chair with his shirt on it. buttons him up. he takes the guitar from the floor. he drudges out to the hall. she kisses him good luck. a sound of clapping appears faintly in the distance. shouts and amplfiers vibrate in the room. blinding light. he stumbles onto the stage. strums his strings. his mates ready to welcome him. the raw sounds of rock illuminate the musician's face.

While People wondered about the last guys sanity, Shawna, Paul, George, Ringo and Stu were walking around London, seeing the sights and having a good time.

John ignored their absence. This was his moment to shine. He saw a sea of light. It seemed everyone in the audience had struck a match or flicked their bic. The chills ran up and down his spine. He half wanted to scream, half wanted to be sick. He fumbled with his glasses. The glare was blinding him.

"Umm..." John started out. Just what were these people planning to do with those matches & lighters? "Well, ah, the others are gone so you'll have to put up with me..." The audience was torn up in laughter. Had they even heard a word he'd said? John smirked. They obviously thought this was the rapier Lennon wit they'd heard so much about. The poor scruffs. As the audience cheered for him, he tuned up and played some stuff, mostly just different versions of some song he'd been working on for a while, but the audience members were singing along, seeming to think it was the recent Beatles smash hit, "I Should Have Known Better".

He felt crushed. They didn't care he was doing something new. He threw down his guitar and strode off the stage. Then he got hit by a streetcar.

"Bloody streetcars! Won't let be alone for a minute, will you?" he screamed to no one in particular.

A grrl passing by raised an eyebrow at John's remark. "Who were you screaming at just now? I didn't see any streetcars." John looked at the grrl in astonishment. "What do you mean, you didn't see any streetcars?! Are you totally blind, or are you just daft?!"

"You're the crazy one,'re in the middle of the park." He looked up and saw he sat in the shadow of the Mad hatter statue.

Mad Hatter statue? But there was no statue just a few minutes ago! What was going on?

No one knew what was going on. It was all lunacy everywhere. Then suddenly John, Paul, George and Ringo found themselves sitting in a field full of yellow flowers. a beautiful red haired girl came walking through the field and sat down in front of John and Paul. They were both speechless. What a bonnie lass was she... Finally she opened her mouth to speak, but the words that came out were rather unexpected... "On this day in 1973, Pink Floyd released a landmark album in Rock'n'Roll history" said she "And it was to be called 'Dark Side Of The Moon'" John and Paul looked at eachother in disbelief. Then Paul snapped out of it and began to flirt with the girl (it comes naturally to him) "Ah, yes, luv..." he began in his most sugar-coated-wanna-sleep-with-me? voice. She didn't even bat an eyelash. "But it's only 1967... it hasn't been 1973 yet" he explained...

but before she could explain where she'd come from or why, they heard some noisy, annoying sounds moving towards them. "What the fook? Get away from me you filthy bastard, I'm better than you and i'm better than John Lennon. Actually I am John Lennon, I hope ya' know, ya filthy bugger." came the voice of one of the two so-irritating-and-ignorant-that-you-feel-you-want-to-beat-the-shit-out-of-the-both-of-them. Yes, it was Liam and Noel, the Gallager brothers. "Wot the fook? I'm the one who looks like John Lennon y'arse. I'm the one who's dating a model... take that ya fooker... I'm the greatest man who ever graced the earth, i am"... The Beatles looked at each other with amazement and disgust. Who were these ass holes and what the hell were they talking about? "I say we go show those buggers a thing or two" said the real John Lennon, and so he, george, Paul, ringo, and the red-haired chick...

Continued on Mar 25, 1998

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