Bagism: Library

Skywriting -- Mar 21, 1998
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Continued from Mar 20, 1998

"Ah, come on. Just a quick shag, that's all." Paul pleaded in his best melti9ng voice. "No! I won't and that's and end to it." John slapped Paul and gave him The Look. He didn't know he was capable of it. "Well, I AM a woman." He said as he walked out of the room, leaving Paul to whimper on his own.

"John." Came a Voice. "Come to me. Come to the Garden of Maybe. Make sure you are not followed." It wispered. "Who are you?" John asked. "You will see when you get there. I will be there, John, and you will see me again then. We've met before." John wasn't sure. He was almost certain that he recognised the voice, but how? Shawna couldn't be in the Garden of Maybe, unless... He picked up the paper and read that Shawna had in fact died. A little tiny article in the obituary section. He knew what he had to do.

I'm going to the Garden of Maybe." He announced. "But John," Luiza said, "You can't go there. You have to get beyond the plain of Yesterday to get there, and your life..." "Don't tell me about my life. I know too much about it as it is." John got up and put on his shoes. He went out the door and was on his way.

The Room suddenly veered sickeningly, like some wild drunken head trip spinning out of control. John's molecules felt shaky. The rest of theBeatles saw his body seperate into tiny glowing spheres of energy. He became gaseous. And then he drifted away. But his essence was beamed up into a nearby flying saucer piloted by Elvis, Jimi Hendrix,Sun Ra and Sade(The Lady). Lennon's soul was taken into orbit by the celestial craft. Sun Ra played a song on his organs that changed the vibrations of John's molecules back to normal. John was a little bit surprised but not very frightened because of couse he knew Jimi and Elvis and they just sat around and played poker and drank beer and talked about everything imaginable wile Sun Ra piloted the space ship to Saturn for the "big convention." John had no idea what convention he was going to but he was just glad to be getting out of the previos plot.

Meam while back where the other Beatles hang out at while people play with John's destiny They have found themselves in their old Magical Mystery Tour outfits and their hair is long and Ringo has called a 1-900 psychiK to find out where John is cause the want to get get together and party. The psychiK tells them to find a Dr. Stranglove who lives in a Frankensteinesque (is that a word) castle in the highlands of Scotland. The good doctor would supposedly be avle to helpthem covert the yellow submarine in to a spacecraft so they could catch up with him at the banquet at Saturn which is really importsnt because now John is going to start traveling the galaxy with an intergaactic crew of semi-fictitious characters and other wierd vagabonds of the warped imaginations. Sun Ra told John that after they got to Saturn they would then continue on to the real Altlntis which is an entire planet with the civilized life forms living underwater in vast cities and palaces......

...then it dawned on John."you're talking bollocks!". John ran to the nearest pub and drank to reality with a pint of bitter.

Still on that dress, and still looking like a woman, no wonder that the people in the pub looked to him subdued. "Well, beyond the tales and the magic, is there anything I can do to change it?", he asked to Luiza, that was hanging around the bar. "There is. Wish it so. It might work".

"...you see, what you have to do, is find 5 other guys from this steel town in england, and become strippers. Right down to the FULL MONTY!" Said Luiza evilish. Something was getting into that grooovy chick. "Aaah.... NO. I think I am going to call up Rea. She was always the smart one," he said.

Suddenly John found himself on the plain of Yesterday. It was a bleak place, with hardly anything to break the monotonous dark rocks and plateus. The sky was hidden by dark, angry clouds. Thunder and lightning were constantly pressing themselves on John's mind. He got up from where he had fallen, adjusting his dress, which had gotten a bit shoved out of place. He finished with it and started walking towards the Garden of Maybe.

"John Winston Lennon! Get yourself down here this instant!" Screamed a familliar voice. "Ah, Mimi, leave me be. You're not getting me to do it! I won't wear 'em!" John yelled back. "You are, and I WILL make you wear them. I don't care wether or not you like them. You're going to wear them, and that's final!" Mimi screamed at John. John stuffed his hands in his pockets and went downstairs. "John Lennon, you march right back up those stairs and get some decent clothes on! Those clothes are a disgrace! You won't be seen in them. And get rid of that idiotic hairstyle." Mimi said. "Come on, Mimi, give it up. I'm not wearing me glasses and I'm not changing." He went upstairs to get his guitar so he could go practice with his mates. As he walked to the door, Aunt Mimi called after him, "The guitar's all very well, John, but you'll never make a living from it." John stepped outside and back onto the plain of Yesterday. This encounter hadn't been too bad, but subsequent ones would get worse. He started to run.

There was his dad standing in the doorway. Mimi did what she could, which wasn't much. Alfred Lennon got John's things and left with his young son. John liked living with his dad, but he missed his aunt and his mother. One day, Julia Lennon, his mother came to Alfred's house to reclaim her son. "Would you like to go with me or would you rather stay with your father?" She asked. "Daddy." John replied. "You see, Julia, I told you he'd want to stay with me." Alfred said. Julia said nothing, just got up to leave. John yelled "Mommy!" and went after her.

The encounters with his past were getting worse. He'd have to hurry. He kept going.

"John! Get down here! Something terrible has happened!" Came Mimi's frantic voice. "What is it?" He demanded, runnong down the stairs. "Your mother... She was hit... A car..." Mimi fainted. John didn't need the rest to understand his mother was dead.

John was shaken. He just sat there on the plain of Yesterday, listening to the thunder, his past threatening to destroy him. He finally managed to get up and countinue on his way.

Then another Yesterday, this one promising physical pain.

A pack of screaming Beatles fans were after John. They never seemed to get tired, never showed any signs of slowing. John ran and ran until it was impossible to run. John collapsed on the ground, exhausted, as the fans swarmed over him like Oprah on a steak, pulling his hair, his clothes, his limbs, anything they could get a hold of. John screamed. And then it was over. John was alone again, laying on his back in the middle of the plain of Yesterday hurting like hell.

Docks. Familliar docks. Not Liverpool, Hamburg. Where was Stu? He'd promised he'd be there. John got off the boat and started to look around. Where the hell was he? A woman with blond hair caught his eye. She was crying. "Astrid! What are you doing here?! Where's Stu?" John asked. "He's- he's... He's dead!" She finally managed to scream. John nearly collapsed. "He's WHAT?" John said, hoping he'd heard wrong. "He's dead." Astrid said. This time there was no doubting what she'd said. Stu was dead.

John sat on the plain of Yesterday, crying. He couldn't get up this time. This was it. He was doomed.

Hands. Strong hands. Hands that picked him up and carried him. He lay quietly in this person's arms. He fell alsleep, and when he woke up, he was just outside of the Garden of Maybe.

John got up and walked inside. There, underneath a tree, stood Shawna. He looked at her, and then down at himself. He was no longer a girl, and he was no longer wearing the dress. He was a guy again, and wearing the clothes that had been his entire wardrobe in Hamburg. "I've been waiting for you, John." She said. "I'm back the way I was!" John said to her. "Yes, you are." She said. "Come with me." John said. "I can't. I'm trapped here. I'm forgotten." Shawna said. "No you aren't. I remember you." John said said, and began to cry for her. They stood in the middle of London, blinking at the sunlight. They were out! Then they got hit by a streetcar.

"Fucking streetcars!" Shouted John. "Not AGAIN, John." Paul said. He too was tired of the street cars. "They're always making life hard. Who's the bird?" I was looking ariund during this exchange, and noticed we'd been thrown foward in time. It was early 1967. "Ok, cool." I thought. John's clothes had changed(Again) and he was now wearing his uniform from the cove rof Sgt. Pepper, which wasn't surprising, considering we had be triown into the middle of the shoot for the cover.

"Green...I like green..." "Shhh, John...don't let them know we've...." Paul made the gesture of inhaling on a joint. "You know they don't like it..." John nodded dumbly. No pockets to dig his hands into. He stuck them into his waist band, shuddering a bit at the coldness of his fingers.

Continued on Mar 22, 1998

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