Bagism: Library

Skywriting -- Mar 20, 1998
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Continued from Mar 19, 1998

While all of London was laughing at John's "Crazy Stunt", deep in the dark, deep receses of the deepest deep place in the world(Which was very deep), somebody sat deep in thought, deeply ploting. "I know! I'll do something really truly deeply nasty to that losy, non-deep Lennon!" She got up and turned on her viewscreen to see what Lennon was doing, and maybe even get some deep ideas for something deeply nasty to do to Lennon. "Perfect!" She cackled deeply when she saw John in the frilly pink dress. "That's just perfect!" She sat down deeply and got back to deep thinking. She would wait until Lennon got home to do her deep deed.

John got home to find a deep person he didn't know looking deeply at him. She looked at him and muttered something deeply unintelligble. The first thing John noticed after the deep stranger had recited her deep spell, was that the dress he was wearing fit a whole hell of a lot better. He looked down at him self, let out a deep scream, and fainted deeply to the deep floor. He was a woman!!!!

It was like something out of Kafka!! He woke up after fainting and looked down his top. "Wow," he said, "I've seen a lot of THOSE in my life...but I never expected to HAVE them." Then he started to worry. "What are the others gonna think? What will I tell my fans? Which bathroom will I use? How do I walk in these heels?" He tottered around the house a bit, then caught himself in a passing mirror. "For a girl, I'm pretty damn cute," he thought to himself. Just then Cyn came down the hall (from Idon'tknowhere) and thought to herself, "Now why did John hire a new maid?" "Nice dress," she said aloud. "I have one just like it." It dawned on John that Cyn didn't recognize him. Good. Let's keep it that way. Cyn walked on by, looking for John. John suddenly had the urge to go shopping. So he hopped a nefarious streetcar that promised not to run anyone over and hit Carnaby Street. After he was done buying lots and lots of dresses and shoes and makeup adn etc, he went back home, where he found....

That Cyn had become a man!!! "Cyn?" John asked. "John?" She er-He, asked. "Yeah." Just then Shawna showed up.

She didn't recognise none of them. What was good, 'cause they had a trouble. A SERIOUS trouble. John began to think how could help him. Her. Whatever, just help. Just as he was thinking, one couple of twins could be seen walking down the street, both with long brown hair and green eyes. Took a time to find out that it was Luiza's sisters, Anna and Helena. He walked to them. "Anna, Helena, please help me." " 'Scuse ma'am, but do we know you?" "Of course you do!", and whispering "it's me, John. Don't ask me what happened, but I do need to get out of this! Please!..." They stared at each other. "Let's admit you are John. How can you prove me?", Helena asked ( she was the one that was harder to fool ). John got blank. Good question!

Than the light bulb went on in his head. "I remember who Rea was. Or is, she hasn't been writing for awhile..." John paced around, obviously nervous. He needed the secret of the ooze to save him! He looked back at Anna and Helena desperately. "Well, do you believe me?"

"I do believe.", Anna said - if he coudl remember Rea, that was a signal. " Who did this to you?", Helena asked. "I told you, I don't know!". They started to walk down the street. "Luiza has been to the Land of the Dead and back again...she might give us a hand. But, you wanna know one thing, John?", she laughed. "Yo do look cute as one bird". And John had to laugh of that. he couldn't help anyway. But just as they were rwaching teir house, someone crossed their way. Paul, George and Ringo, discussing about the cosmic solution or whatever. "Oh, damn it. There comes trouble." , Helena muttered.

"Why?", John asked but he wasn't answered. The trio came along. As Anna grabbed her brother by one arm and whispered the whole situation ( he was from the family, damn it ), Paul and George stared at what Helena's called "new friend". "What's yer name, honey?", Paul asked. Meanwhile back, Anna was having a hard time to explain Ringo the situation. And what a tangle of knots that situation was becoming!... Then they got hit by a streetcar.

John let escape a curse, and everybody stared.

Luiza appeared at the window "What, a streetcar again? When they will ever lea... Hey, Anna, who's the girl with you?", she asked, pointing John. "Sister, it's a long story", she sighed, as everybody moved inside her house. "well, Luiza, do you still have that mirror I gave you?" "Are you refering yerself to that one...that can make someone... change? I do. Why?". Anna pointed to John. "You are going to have to use it, sister. The, er, GIRL, is John." "John?" Luiza gasped. "It's JOHN? But how..." "Shh," Anna shushed her sister. "Later."

John was still fascinated with his woman-self. He looked at his hands which had become thinner and considerably softer. "Can't play like this, Luiza...I'll bleed all over the place..." "Do you think we should call him something else while he's like this? Joanna?" John frowned. "No one's gonna change a blasted thing about me....not anymore, at least..."

"Er, John...Joanna...argh, this is going to be irritant", Luiza said to her family. "I can't imagine one girl at the lead of your band. I'm catching the mirror...it's going to be against his...her...ugh, whatever, against this person's will...but's going to be for a good cause.". Just when she opeened up her battered case, she noticed that the mirror was gone. "How wonderful!", she muttered. "Alright, who took it away?". Some hauting deep voice answered her - "I DID!"

John turned to face the voice. "Oh, hullo, I s'pose you're wondering 'bout this...I don't know either..." He straightened his dress. "One day, at home with the wife, the next....I am the wife..." He had the peculiar sensation that something was slipping. he clutched at his waist to stop it. his stockings were piling around his ankle. "How do you STAND these, Luiza?"

"That's some you got to get used to", she answered, laughing a bit at John's troubles with the stockings. "you know? this is going to be truly weird. One day your friend is a long-haired guy. Then the next day it's all upside down. I don't like this, I don't like this at all. It's too much for a ten-years-old like me to take!".

The twins added "And to us too!". Anna sat down in front of the computer - she needed to finish the play she had to write to the theater group. "Fellows, I ws remembering one tradition of the country I came from. they say that when you walk behind a rainbow, you change upside-down. Maybe we could force Joanna - or John, I don't know - to do it.". Helena was more bold "Or maybe hit him with a streetcar". "Oi! Not that!", Luiza shouted, being she afraid of streetcars since once knocked her down and she ended up at the Garden of Maybe. While the family was at that informal meeting at Anna's writing desk, Paul was talking to John.

"You do look loverly..." "Shirrup" "I was only saying..." John clapped a hand over his mouth. "I am not winding up with me legs in the air like every other bird in this story. especially not with you."

Continued on Mar 21, 1998

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