Bagism: Library

Skywriting -- Mar 19, 1998
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Continued from Mar 18, 1998

Cynthia. "John! Paul! What the hell? I thought you two were..." "We ARE!!!" Shouted John. "Blame Paul. It's 'is fault. 'E's th' one who got kicked out. Again. For the fifth time this week." John said, shooting Paul a dirty look. "Oh thank God." Cyn said, relieved. "For a moment there I thought you two were..." "Well we're not. Brian is." John said, snickering. "John! Be nice! He IS your manager, you know." "Yeah, yeah, I know, bad John, insulting Brian, fifty lashes, all that rot. I've 'eard it all before. Sod off." John got out of bed and got dressed, grabbed a piece of toast, and went out the door where he was promptly hit by a street car.

"Damn streetcars." John muttered under his breath. He got up and brushed himself off. Just then...

Ringo walked through the door. "Sorry, I was trying out my new remote-control streetcar and the cat got the remote and was playin' with it and stuff, and must've turned the heat sensor on, 'cause otherwise stuff wouldn't keep hitting you like that."

"Oh" John said nonchalantly. Just then Paul came downstairs. John stared at him open-mouthed. He was wearing Cyn's shortest, laciest robe. "What?" Paul asked as if nothing were out of the ordinary. John just snickered at him and took his tea into the other room. Paul started getting himself some breakfast. Just then the whole house was startled by a shrill sound coming from the front door... it was a STREETCAR!

"I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE YOU BASTARD!!!!" came the sound of a female voice. They were all at the kitchen table at this point. "Ah, must be another visitor for Paul," John said with a nasty grin. Paul gave him a dirty look and got up to answer the door (just to save time) There stood Jane holding up a letter on pink paper with red lipstick smears all over it. Tears were running down her face which was red with rage. She was ready to go at him, her fists clenched, but when she looked at Paul, the anger was gone from her face and she began laughing. Paul could hear the hysteria behind it. "WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?" Jane screamed between hyena-like giggles. Jane never spoke like this! what was going on? Paul looked down and remembered he still had Cynthia's robe on... and blushed. Paul was the worst liar and he knew it.

"Well as long as we're playing dressup, you might as well join in, John." Cyn said. "Are you out of you're fooking mind, Cyn?!!?" "Personally, i think you'd look cute in a dress." Jane and Cyn grabbed John and dragged him kicking and screaming to Cyn's bedroom. "Think this one looks good?" Jane asked. "Yeah! it's perfect!" John saw where this was going and tried to get up. He couldn't, because his ankles were bound together. Cyn held him while Jane put the dress on him. It was a nice pink lacy party dress, and John looked so idiotic in it that Jane went into hysterics all over again. Cyn untied John and stood there laughing while John ran downstairs to get Paul and curse him out for giving the women this crazy idea.

Right after he stepped off the last step Jane popped out and took his picture in the frilly pink lacy dress. The whole room was in hysterics except John; Jane was laughing so hard she almost dropped the camera. Out the door she ran to get the film developed. This made John madder, he took off after Paul to give him what for, yelling and threatening him all the way.

"SOMEONE GET THIS GIRL!", Paul, shouted, as Jane ran at the street. Why those streetcars never showed up when we need them? Just when he said it, one showed up, crossing the street in light velocity. "Here comes the Cavalary!", Luiza shouted, as her sisters moved the car right after Jane. Helena grabbed the camera. "Ops! Sorry ms. Asher!", she shouted. "Attention, girls, turning left! Right into the Thames!" The streetcar and the camera sank at the river, being carried away by the water. The girls stood at the pavement laughing.

"That was a dirty trick", John said to Luiza. "Well, if you had a better plan, why didn't you tell me?", she replied, looking to the river. And when john looked back, she and her sisters weren't there anymore.

John realised he was still in the frilly, lacy dress. He was also standing in the middle of London. He had only one thing to say about it: "Oh, shit."

Everyone on the street stopped and stared at John open mouthed. Then it sounded as if all of London burst out laughing

What was there to do but pretend that it had all been planned? He waved to the crowd and batted his eyelids. All the while, he could feel his face growing hotter and hotter.

Continued on Mar 20, 1998

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