Skywriting -- Mar 12, 1998
Continued from Mar 11, 1998
"Kinda of weird, this friend of yours, sis", Anna said to her younger sister as John left with that Francie something. "Oh, believe me, you dind't see nothing yet", she replied, not wanting to tell who he really was **I just only hope he can come back one day.**, she thought, sadly, knowing deep in her young heart that he'd never come back to that place - 'cause it was like skywriting, it disappears when you are not looking.
As if there were some deep bond between the two, John whispered the word. Skywriting. It could come out as a hiss. Or it could be the most beautiful word in the world. "What?" Francie tried to sound posh, but she feared he'd gone soft. Skywriting. He looked up, almost instincively, hoping to see words across the sky. He saw only the track left by an airplane.
"Why d'you keep saying that?" John still searched the sky. He hoped to see something that made sense..something that made a letter...He'd settle for even a single letter.
And he saw a whole phrase "yer goin home John" "home" the word echoed in his mind . Home...
"Home?" What did that mean? The word sounded like nonsense when he repeated it.
He thought of all the homes he had experienced so far. There was home with Aunt Mimi, and with Cyn and Julian, with Yoko and Sean, with MayPang, and then the home that Luiza lived in. "Why are none of my homes like hers?" John asked himself.
As he was asking himself that, he heard people laughing behind him. It was another house, another people. And Luiza were between them. And her sisters. And some friends. It was a birthday party. "Happy Birthday, Bruno! Blow the candles and make a wish", Helena shouted THe poor lout called Bruno blown the candles, but one remained alight. "It means that someone here has a secret to conceal. Hey, Luiza, you are the youngest. Blopw this candle and make yourself a wish." "All that I want is my friend John to be alright", she said. "John? The acconter? Well, I wish ghim nothing but the best", Helena added. Luiza looked thru the window pane, and she saw John standing there, looking. 'My wish came true!", she shouted. "Come inside, John!"
He didn't think twice. It was cold outside, anyway. And live with normal people, as a normal person, wasn't that bad, anyway. "Where's the slut that was with you?", Helena - or it was Anna? - asked. "She's around", he answered. Someone started to play "Too Much Monkey Business" on the piano, and John, moved by some string, started to sing along. Everybody at the party stared at him. "Hey, the guy has a nice voice!", shouted the guy on the piano, Jorge by name christined. "Come on, keep on singing!" Then, some car stopped in front of the house.
Out of the car came someone strangely familiar. John knew it was someone he knew, someone he loved, a very close confidante, but for some reason he couldn't comprehend. Who was this tiny little woman with the big puffs of long black hair? Then it hit him. It was Yoko! She'd come to get him! He ran toward her. "Yoko! Oh, Yoko! Can I come home?" He tried to embrace her. She dissolved in a puff of smoke. Gone! She'd been a hologram! John gasped and fell on his butt in surprise and amazement. "Wha..."
Suddnely all started to disappear... and he was on his own again in the dark. And he could hear someone crying from a corner of that dark place. "Who's in there?", he asked, but was answered with the echo of his shout and the sobs of that whoever crying. He moved to where the sound was. A young girl with eyes of blue stared at him. "How do I go home, John?", Luiza asked, sobbing. "How? I lost meself when that hologram explode."
"I don't know how to go home." Tears had started to well up in his eyes. Luiza cried harder and John felt the first tear run down his nose. "Damn...I can't cry...Not now..." "I want to go home, John.." He shook his head, overwhelmed. "I don't know how! There is no way home!"
It was a frightening experience. Luiza and John clutched each other, fearing for their lives and drowning in a flood of fear...but the screams died down and they sat in silence. Wetness on Luiza's hand made her realize she was shredding John and she pulled her fingernails out of his hand. "You okay?" she asked him. "Yeah..." he mumbled. He looked depressed but seemed to accept his fate with grim determination. John sighed. What had he done to deserve this? Would he ever see Yoko again? And Sean, would John get to see him come of age? He still couldn't see a thing, from the darkness of that place, so he laid down on the cold, unforgiving floor and imagined he was home again. Sweet thoughts. Warming thoughts. Suddenly John's whole body was taken over by this strange tingly feeling. "What's happening to me?" John gasped. "Luiza?" She was gone.
"God- Luiza...Cyn...Yoko...I'm dying...oh, God....." He felt the stones through his wet shirt. "God.." His breath came in sharp, sudden gasps. "No...God...no...no..no.."
Now John felt cold, then hot. "Christ, what's happening to me?" This was worse than heroin withdrawal. "Please, someone help me!" John screamed. He saw bright lights, then darkness. During a bright flash he looked for something familiar but could not see. Everything was distorted. John groaned. "Help!" A pang of pain shot through John's entire body, indescribable pain that made him writhe in agony. "Oww, ohh! What was...hey, why am I going numb now?" John shut his eyes and held his breath...
It was cold again. Like ice. The stone was like ice against his hot cheek. "Damn you, God...I can feel it...don't leave me alone here...please, Mother...it hurts..make it go away..." He twisted his face in agony. It was so hard...so hard to keep her within his sight.
"John? John?" Oh, sweet Yoko. She would get him out of here. He opened his eyes and saw Yoko...and Sean...and Julian, and his band mates! "Hey, he's up!" Paul cheered. "We thought you'd never wake up!" "You scared us, Johnny," Ringo added. "Wha..what happened?" "You fell down the stairs. How do you feel?" "You wouldn't believe. I thought I was going mad, I seriously did, and then I just shut me eyes & held my breath and I'm here now!" "Wow!"
"down the stairs, up the stairs..." The image waivered with new pain. "Shit..I can't make it go away anymore..."
"Oww..." He couldn't remember a thing about it, but he took what they were saying as truth. If something they said could make him ache so badly they had to be telling the truth. The crowd began to disperse. Yoko was the last. She gently stroked John's cheek. "Tomorrow," she said. And then she was gone again, and John was all alone again. The tingly feeling crept up his neck. "No, no, not again."
A far away voice called his name. Yoko. Always it came back to her...he'd just seen her go.. "John...speak to me..please...say something...anything..." He arched back in pain again. It felt as though all his bones had been shattered. The pain was unbelievable. He would have screamed could he have drawn the breath.
The stones he lay on seemed to draw the warmth from his body. He shivered in cold and fear. What of tomorrow?
Ah yes, Tommorow. Tommorow never knows, does it? John may wake up tommorow and find it's all been a dream, or an LSD Trip, or that he never existed in the first place, that all along he's been a figment of people's imaginations... But then again, he may find it was more frighteningly real than he ever thought possible... Tommorow never knows. It might all be a dream, one of many, lost in the void...
Continued on Mar 13, 1998
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