Bagism: Library

Skywriting -- Mar 10, 1998
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Continued from Mar 09, 1998

But then he felt a huge thud. he woke up in a cold sweat to find himself in his own room, at home in Weybridge. He sighed in relief. Cyn had just whacked him in the chest with her hand in her sleep. he carefully moved her hand over to her side of the bed and was just about to fall back asleep when....

Paul burst into the bedroom. John just lay there, contemplating the situation. It was one thing for Paul to come over unannounced, but it was a complete other thing for him to burst into their bedroom. John was really pissed off. But before he could come up with some smart ass remark to get Paul out of there, Paul spoke. It was obviously too dark for him to see that there were not one, but two people in the bed. "Cynny? Cynthia? I'm back, honey" Paul was saying. John's head began spinning. WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON? since when did Paul call Cynthia "cynny"? Paul crossed the room and walked right up to John. Thinking that he was Cynthia, he proceeded to...

...climb into the bed with John, giving him a great big hug. "hey cyn? um, since when do you have a fairy chest?" said paul in a rather weak voice. "I decided to see what it's like to be a man," squeeled John, trying to sound womanish. "ay, ay's that you john?! we thought you've been drowned!!" exclaimed Paul. "drowned?? hey wait, let me turn on the light," John walked over to the switch and FLIP!... "SURPRISE!!!" there were all of John's friends standing there. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHNNY!!!" "fooled ya, didn't i? ha! like i'd climb in bed with cyn!!" said paul, laughing. Just then, the door burst open...

oops that's HAIRY chest...

John peered into the darkness on the other side of the door. "Hullo?" One bizarre thing after another. Dead. Not dead. Married, Single, Young, Old.... "What now, Paulie?"

All of this was just too much to take. So John and Paul just decided to get stoned and find a bird or two to share for the night. That's what they did EVERY night, after all, especially in THIS story....I mean, forget about them being Beatles and song writers, all they really needed was to get laid. Sigh. Francie Swartz was just an Apple girl who spent her days stalking Paul and her nights fantasizing about John....Hmmm....Paul remembered her walking around the Apple building in those fetching mini's serving tea and (ahhemm) other things to all the guys around. SHE WAS PERFECT!!! So he pulled out that piece of cardboard she'd written her number on (in crayon) and quickly dialed her up.

Francie was busy painting her nails and humming to herself when the phone rang. She was just a stupid AMERICAN girl, after all. She picked up the phone and said hullo in her best English accent, which usually people mistook for Hungarian, she never knew why. "Hello?" she squawked, and Paul almost hung up. "Hallo? Francie? This is Paul."

John laid back on the couch. "Oh, P-A-U-L...it's been ages, dahling..." John gagged. He could hear her retched voice from wher he was sitting. "Yeah...Francie...wanna drinkersumthin'?" John mimicked Paul, making eyes at an imaginary girl while feeling round back for her imaginary zipper. "Cut that out, John.."

John just gave an evil grin and began dancing around and squawking like Francie in her "English" accent. "Oh Pawlie, you are soooo dee-vhiiiiiine!" Paul got fed up and hung up the phone to teach John a lesson.

"OK, that's it. I'm gonna give you what for, Lennon!" John ran off and Paul chased him, one hand made into a fist. "Arrgh!" Paul yelled. John laughed so much his sides started to hurt. "Hee hee..." John giggled. "Run faster, Paulie!" This only made Paul madder. "Once you slow down, John, yer gettin' it!" "Right, like I'd be stupid enough to do that? And anyways...LOOK OUT!" "Huh?" Paul ran right into the banister and fell over the side. John ran after him. "Paul?" He cradled Paul's unmoving head in his lap. Should he stay here with Paul or go for help? "I can't believe you still fall for that," Paul laughed.

Decidely, it was enough to take, and John walked away from his friend, thru the windy streets of London. All he was needing was some shlter and some pints. Luckly he found out some place to be at, a strange yet interesting pub called "Riverside". There was some band playing, a mix of the already heard Organized Chaos and some other, that came form the other side of the Atlantic, called Wallflyers. (Not Wallflowers, the band of the son of Dylan. ) John stood back to hear them - and toi see the deadly nice bird that was on the drums.

"Mmm...now that's a bird," John mumbled to himself. "Waaait... Darn! I'm married! Happily! To Cyn!" But was Cyn really his soul mate? How would he find out? Unfortunately, some snitch saw John looking at this bird and ran to tell Cyn. When John got home ("Cyn, you're my destiny, luv") Cyn screamed at him ("Don't SOUL MATE me! Whatever happened to 'Till Death Do Us Part', huh?"). Did they really love each other? Were they really meant for each other?

And why did this weird coyote keep appearing in John's dreams? Was this all from some strange cartoon John had watched on TV? We answer these questions on...DAYS OF THE BEATLES' LIVES.

Sigh. He sighed deeply. Nothing was real anymore. He might as well be in a soap. At least they could have gotten him a spot on "Coronation Street", but no. He was comdemned to play out the scenes of his past against dull, ppainted backdrops.

Continued on Mar 11, 1998

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