Bagism: Library

Skywriting -- Feb 22, 1998
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Continued from Feb 21, 1998

He remembered all the songs, and could hear the others voices in his head. I was like he was on a trip, but not surreal enough, yet at the same time, it was all too surreal

but then a voice called him... "John...John...John!"

John ignored the drone of the streetcars. Something deeper was troubling his mind. That voice that kept calling him..it was so familliar. It sent chills up his spine.

Just then Cyn showed up. Hey, John, i just bought you that new jacket you wanted and baked you your favorite cookies. John smiled at her. It was a sunny day, and he really loved Cyn. Dear sweet, Cyn. But just then, out of nowhere it seemed, stampeded Paul. he ran right up to them, poured paint on John's jacket, smashed the cookie plate, and began groping Cyn. "Aye! what d'ya think yer DOING mate?" John screamed. But just as he was about to show McCartney a thing or two, Paul pulled something out of his pocket. MENTOS! he popped one into his mouth and smiled. John smiled too. "Oh, he eats METOS!" John exclaimed. "Now everything is OK!" MENTOS, THE FRESHMAKER. Then him and his minty fresh breath got hit by a streetcar.

Mentos. If only that fresh little treat could have saved the day. Er, night. But it couldn't have.

But everyone was WRONG, because just then John pulled something out of his pocket... a MENTOS package! YES! he popped one into his mouth and...

nothing happened. John flung the package away into the night. "Piece of shite advert!" HIs voice echoed down empty streets.

John fished into his pockets and discovered some bubblegum, elastics, fireworks,matches and some marijuana. As he sat down and smoked the marijuana a brilliant idea came to him (as they tended to do when he smoked the wacky tobaccy) so with his gum, elastics, fireworks and matches john, using grade 7 science knowledge, fashioned a crude but usuable A-bomb. With glee he fired the bomb and blew up the CBS studio in Nagano-it was payback time for having crappy coverage and crappy comentators. and oh yes coincidentally he blew up all streetcars

He was only slightly grieved at having blown up Nagano. Shrugging it off, he mumbled. "Well, at least that's done with." He washed his hands of the whole nasty matter. Then he got hit by a streetcar.

A beautiful brown haired girl with big eyes and pouty lips found him lying on the ground. "Oh no!" he heard a sexy female voice. He opened his eyes and saw her. "Annie, it's you, I've missed you." he said as her took her hand. "Yes, i've missed you too, john" she said as Paul came up and picked her up off the ground and began kissing her. "NOOOOO!" John screamed to himself inside, but what could he do? he was lying there with blood gushing out of his head from the streetcar incident (how many times was that? he thought to himself) but he was just gonna let the whole thing go when he saw Paul give him a "i'm better than you cuz i get all the sex!" look and he knew at that moment that...

this tale had gotten out of hand. John crumpled the paper again. "God, Paul...even in my head you get all the birds..." The words were spoken to no one. He was alone in the apartment for the moment. He dug his toes into the white carpet and began again, cursing as his typewriter keys stuck slightly.

Continued on Feb 23, 1998

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