Bagism: Library

Skywriting -- Feb 11, 1998
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Continued from Feb 10, 1998

Paul awoke the next morning to find himself standing in a daisy-filled meadow. "Why am I here?" asked Paul. "Why indeed?" said John, who was standing next to him. Just then George walked up to where John and Paul were standing. "Why are you here?" asked George. "We were going to ask you the same question," said John and Paul. "It doesn't matter, really," said George. "No, not really," said Paul. "This is pathetic. I'm leaving," announced John as he lit up a cigarette and left the sunshine-filled meadow. "What was that all about?" asked George. "You wouldn't understand," Paul muttered coldly.

He continued, " It's these american types, they're at it again. They've set up a bloody website where people just make up the story as they go along and pretend something good comes out of it but really it's an excuse to write about sex or the blues brothers or swear". "Oh shit", said George. "I joined the band to end up like this?" John walked up to them patted them on the back and said,"that's showbiz fellers..." They ambled to the nearest pub for a pint of guinness and a packet of nuts....

"Dis is racial discrimination!" Shouted Apu Then to make things interesting, pulled down his pants and *almost* covered his naughty bits with a piece of cloth when...

Tatum, (the strange black-haired girl) jumped out from behind a bush and took his picture. Three weeks later, Apu was surfing the net and saw it on a web page. it seems that Tatum had given it to her friend, who had an obvious liking for those flasher types...

"And you just can't charge her, uh?", a girl said to Apu. "That's the worst part. You new here?" "Oh, I'm just passing by. My name is Anna. Excuse me, but who are those guys there?". "The owners of the story.", Apu said. "no matter what people write, they write about them." Anna just looked straight to them - maybe the first woman in the whole story who didn't pay attention on them . "Id better be moving. See you a next time, Apu." She climbed down the staircase that led to the subway station, and disappeared.

While she was waiting the train, Anna was humming some unknown melody. "I was really in need to write a song.", she thought. "But this idea of the walrus and 'see how they fly, like Lucy in the Sky' is a idea that nobody will ever buy!" The train stopped and she met her friend Rea. Greeting exchanged, they moved to the nearest pub. "So how's the story?" "Skywriting? Oh, you don't want me to tell you. Confusion after confusion. The subject keeps changing every two paragraphs.". Rea laughed. "That's why it is there!", and they entered into the pub. Heads turned. They just looked to each other, and, laughing, sat down. Anna kept on looking to the Beatles, just behind she and Rea ( as they were for more than 5 paragraphs now, waht is pretty a miracle ). "Where have seen those guys before?", she whispered to her friend.

"I don't know. I think we had seen them before, but where?" "Never mind. What did you think of the song I sent you?" "It was lovely. But do you think someone will ever but the story of a fool on the hill?" "Nobody will ever buy it", Anna repeated. "I had the same feeling today, remembering that song of the Walrus. It had some neat verses, but it's nonsense to the bone." Nonsense was the situation - John and Paul kept hearing the girls talking, jaws dropped on the floor - not only they didn't recognise them, but they were talking about their songs! "What's going on here?"

"hey, who are you guys, I just wrote those songs today!" said Anna. "Yea, how dare you take those songs ! There gifted peices of writing" added Rea. "This is what we get for not putting clearer copyrights on our songs" said John in a smug voice to Paul. Just then a small, funny little man walked ib. "oh, hello Ringo" said Goerge.

"I should have gone a long time ago." John sat down, buried his head in his arms, and sighed. "Wanna 'nother ciggie?" Paul offered one to his old companion. "Yeah...hell, gimme the whole thing." John seized the pack and retreated back into his shell. He'd had no idea what was going on since page one. He'd at least known who he was then.

"So anyway, where you guys from?" asked Rea. "GOD! DON'T YOU KNOW???!" Paul yelled now not taking it anymore. "WE (he waved his hands around indicting to ringo, john and george) ARE the BEATLES!!" Anna laughed. "Beetles! like bugs? hahah, you copy cats, OUR band is called that!" "what the fook are you talking about?" said John. "Ugh? HELLO? are you guys are you guys living on earth or sumthing? HELLO but yer on Jupiter.." All the beatles looked at each other. "Jupiter?" paul faintly said. "Yeah, what century you've been living in?" laughed anna. the beatle proceeded to do a home alone slap on the face AHHHH thing. There were in some deep crap man!

Dazed, they walked into a music store and looked for something with their names on it, but found nothing. All they saw were crates and crates of that great new album "A Brick Shy" by ORGANIZED CHAOS. "Hey! Look, it's that great new Organized Chaos album!" exclaimed John. "I've been looking all over for it! Funny how they all ended up on Jupiter!" So John bought multiple crates of the new ORGANIZED CHAOS album and they all sat around to ponder the current situation.

"Being on Jupiter sucks!" commented George. "Someone call the Bad Plot Police and get us the bloody hell out of here!" So they did.

Anna and Rea just looked to each other, stiffing laughters. "There's one in every crowd.", Anna said. "C'mon, Rea, we'd better be moving." "Right. See you guys!". Just as they were leaving, Paul locked the door. "No way! Now you're going to tell us how we going to come back home!". The tweo girls stared at each other. "Alright.", Anna finally said. "I don't know how to come back very well - sometimes the process jumps off my head - but I can try. You gotta face the risks." Rea added "One mistake and you end up in deep space. So, what do you say?"

Jupiter isn't a bad never know what those girls are thinking of...besides, here nobody knows us...we could act like normal people for a while..... "We'll think over", Joh said. The two girls walked away. "There's one in every crowd...but you know, that Paul fellow isn't bad." , they could hear Anna saying, her voice fainting on the street. "Yeah, you can repeat it...listen, remember that Let It Be thingie? I got one melody to it."...the voices went away. "well, what do we do now?"

Ringo began to drum his fingers to help himself think. It was more than John could take. "For heaven's sake, will you stop that drumming? I'm trying to think here!" Ringo was so astonished and upset that he went and curled up in the corner and sucked his thumb.

"Stop that unsanitary practice!" Apu screamed (who was very *clean*) "Get your thumb out of your mouth! Cleanse yourself!" and with that he ponced off.


"Was that the end?", wondered John. "Was that the end of the story, Auntie Mimi?" Mimie closed the large book that sat on her lap and unwound John's hands from her arm. "What do you think?" John bit his lip for a moment. "Not really the end, Auntie." He kicked his feet against the chair. "Someone's at the door" He barely concealed his grin. John opened the book again when Mimi had gone to look.

...but there was just one blank plage, with one inscription on it. "Jai Guru Deva", John read. What did those words mean? He didn't know. He repeated it out loud : JAI GURU DEV.... by the time he was finishing the phrase he felt a pair of hands grabbing him. "you wanna see how the story ends? Follow me!"

The pair of hands throwed him thru the window, and he started to fall, till he landed on something. Well, the something complained. "What the hell? It's raining Englishmen tonight!". John stood up, in time to see the one he had landed on. It was that Anna something from aunt Mimi's story. "Uh, hello er...John, right?" "Oh no.Don't tell me we're in Jupiter again." "Jupiter? You're bloody nuts. You're in Germany, John! Hamburg, the prot, do you remember?". John looked to her, as SHE was the nuts one there. "And what are YOU doing here?" , he asked.

young john was soon on a stage in a seat, and saw all these people looking at him. "now john, you say that you slept with your brother and his wife???" little john had no idea where he was. then he looked at some sign "The Jerry Springer Show". What a gay last name he thought to himself...

"Springer. Like a spaniel?" He questioned the man in the KKK uniform beside him. He drew back as he noticed the outfit. "" He felt himself begin to sweat. The crowd looked at him. He had to do something. "My daddy didn't love me!" There. It had come easy enough and was true enough. The crowd moaned in sympathy. He had the compassion of the trailer park masses. Better than nothing.

"I feel your pain! But you too can overcome with the help of the LAWD" Bellowed a woman from the very back. "Actually, I..." He heard a snarl from the man in white and backed down. The woman lurched up the aisle, waving her copy of the Bible as you would wave a flag. John occupied his mind with thoughts of happier places and times as the woman rushed forward.

"Get the hell outa there, John!", she said, grabbing him "Believe me, you don't want to stay here much longer." They ran till the church, and all the rest, was out of sight. "That's not like you, hanging 'round with those two-timing fellas", Anna said, smiling. "How do I come back?", he asked "The same way you entered in it. Jai Guru Deva.". He shouted the phrase the louder he could - and in no time he was back to the beginning. Back to the living room, with his aunt Mimi reading him a story.

He lay his head on Mimi's shoulder. "auntie....don't let me go back there." She looked at him. "John Winston Lennon, what are you talking about?" He looked up at her, expecting a smile. There was none. "Jai Guru Deva- Om..." Aunt Mimi looked at him strangely. It seemed to her that her little boy had lost his mind in a matter of moments after playing his joke.

"Auntie I had such a dream...even if I told you it you'd never believe." Mimi just looked straight to her nephew, worried face. "John, your mother's here.", she said. "Mum?" All his hopes and fears crystalized in that single word. He wanted to see her sweet face with her near-red hair. He also dreaded seeing her.

"Is", he asked. Mimi just pointed the door, as if she was letting things go. If the world could stop turning for one moment, THAT would be the moment.

His jaw hung open in awe. This was, perhaps, the moment that would explain all. He expected time to freeze. He was suprised when she strode into the room. She smelled faintly of flowers.

Julia was beautiful, but strangely reminded him of all those women from his dreams....or was it? (I have had, I did have, I will have, READ ON!) "Mummy?" John asked, suddenly feeling corny for saying the trite cliched English phrase. "Yes, luv?" Julia answered, in a fashion that was just as America's-idea-of-what-English-people-talk-like. "Tell me what the purpose of this story is, please?! What is real and what is just a dream? Who am I? Am I a Beatle, or just a little boy?" "You are all of those things, John" she answered mysteriously, and then she floated away and John couldn't even remember that she'd been there.

So he shrugged it off and went to go throw watermellons off of bridges at cars.

Or bowling balls. Just for a larf, you see.

"I can set you free." A small voice in his right ear whispered. John smacked at the sound, catching only a handful of hair on his wedding ring. "I can release you from your earthly chains" He swatted again.

While John tossed the watermelons and bowling balls, Paul strolled up with his face a mask of mystery (SEXY mystery). "Whatcha been up to?" John asked. "Well," Paul grinned.

"I've been all around the world and back, and seen many things, from the hairy bubba guys, in jail, to the wide spread plains of Spadix.It was a happy place." Of course by now, John could tell that the funny look on his parter's face could only mean one thing, that Paul was trippin out on smack again.. John stared at Paul for a few moments, and then looked out the window. He was very tired, and very bored. All these journeys had no meaning to him..Paul spoke again, in his drug infused haze.. "You know, that lot of birds, they mean absolutely nothing to me.. It's an in and out job, ya know mate? Love 'em and leave em.Wot's the point of wasting my time on them?? They only give me one thing." John continued to stare out the window,as Paul droned on, about sex.John really wasn't paying much attention to Paul right now, becuase Paul was going on one of his MANY ego trips. "And I remember the time that she." John quickly moved his attention elsewhere in the room..The poster for their album.. The golden albums...

Continued on Feb 12, 1998

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