Bagism: Library

Skywriting -- Feb 03, 1998
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Continued from Feb 02, 1998

Suddenly, Austin fell out of the car and his brain was smashes into pieces. Linda said, "Well at least I don't have a choice any more...", and went on shagging paul in the back seat. When they got home (I don't know how--no one was driving...), there was a wierd message on their machine. It said...

Suddenly Rocky Raccoon crawled out of the gutter.And Lucy in The Sky with diamonds para-sailed down from the clouds with her magical mystery umbrella.Suddenly the clouds dispersed and oh look out, Here comes the sun.Linda said "good day sunshine!" Then the sun said to Linda "Lets take some pictures of this bizarre scene".Bizarre it was ,suddenly Bishop's Gate burst open and Henry the horse waltzed through it.But Austin vanished in a blue cloud of smoke. Everything got blurred by a yellow cloud.The scenery disappeared, and Linda's car was floating through a tunnel filled with sparkly objects and diamonds and glowing colors.Suddenly a large revolving spiral appeared. Linda was going right through it.Suddenly a light flashed, everything was hazy and there was a red cloud of smoke it cleared and Linda was in the middle of central park on a hill."Where's Austin" asked Linda, "How did I end up here", the sun answered "tommorow never knows". Suddenly rocky raccoon started ripping up the apholstry. "Ahhhhhh a rac...

"WAKE UP!", someone shouted, and Linda opened up her eyes she was somewhere out there. Where? Wish I knew. I olny know she was locked inside a room - and there was a shadow of someone in front of her. "Pleased to meet you, Lady...it seems you falled into my trap". "And who the hell are you?". The shadow laughed. "Why, my name is Geri. Never heard of me before? I want to do you a favour...I heard that your husband is, well..."

"...Paul McCartney and i just can't let you go until i have his autograph. I'm SUCH a Beatles fan!! Please Linda? PRETTY PLEASE????" Linda laughed. "Alright", she said,"but untie me first..." Then there was a thunder clap and through the window flew in...

The Beatles have a reunion tour. They get back together for a big world tour. They tour all over the world. By the end of the tour, they are tired. After the tour John permanently joins a hippie commune. He walks around naked and surfs the internet. Soon he relizes he forgot his glasses. Now he has to feel his way around until he finds them. He spends all day trying to find his glasses. When he finds them, he puts them on. He looks at himself in the mirror and now he can see through himself. He relizes he's really just a spirit in hippie heaven.

He tried to touch in self, to see if he still had a body. but you know what? he didn't have a body. He looked around and soon he was in this very unusual room. there was a bathroom. he walked into the bathroon, and saw 5 very fake girls with bad fashion styles looking into the mirror. the girl with the dark hair and pudgy nose spoke first to the other girls. "Girls, is my dress too short?". John thought to 'imself. how could a dress THAT short BE short? John thought the girls were gonna tell the other one to make it longer but to his amazement they said, "NO!" and the girl that had the short dress (who found out was named "posh") pulled it up. John wanted to know these girls better. but how could he? he was just a spirit in hippie heaven. WAIT: maybe if he touched or kissed one of the girls (that afro one looked cute) he would turn back into a human being...

so John was leaning towards the rather spicy-girl, but he just as hid lips were almost at hers she stuck out her tongue to reveal a huge EARRING in it. John was terrified. what the hell was going on? these weren't like any birds he had ever seen. "GIRL POWER" yelled the blonde. "YEAH" they all replied at, with that, they yeanked up their skirts, re-applied their makeup, straightened their wigs and they were outta there...

Then linda woke up. She realized it had all been a dream. It had been looney (who the hell had those girls been? and how could she dream about john? she hadn't even shagged him yet, baby yeah!) Just as she was beggining to feel relatively alright again (blondes never are COMPLTETELY there...) She felt someone grab her ass...

And turned to find Mik beside her. "Good, wasn't it, love?" Linda rolled her eyes. "Look here, Mik," she growled, "I am SO tired of you. It's not like you OWN me or anything. Besides," she glanced at her watch, "I have someone coming to visit shortly." Mik glared at her, gathered his clothes and left in a huff. Linda rolled back over and began to dream again...

Suddenly an invader from mars arrived in a shimmering spaceship.Suddenly it was the end of the world.Suddenly the invader crept out of the spaceship with a group of glittering arthropods.Nobody knew what was happening.The people thought the space invader was some sort of freak because of his odd clothing.But then they saw that they were really just

a bunch girls. Actually it was Tenel Ka, Anna of the field, Cyn, G and Francie!! you see, these ass-kicking girls were soo in love with the beatles (well Tenel Ka liked the beatles AND Jakob Dylan) that they decided to kinnapp Linda and take her to Sao Paolo in Brazil and feed her to the monkeys. Oops, sorry, mistake. The girls were going to kinapp linda and convinve her to make the beatles meet them. It's was a very grand plan!! HAHAHHAHHAHA!

"Tenel", Cyn whispered, "do you think this will work? I mean, I've been hearing that the things between them aren't tahe great..and what if he really wants to get rid of her?". Anna simply looked up to the ceiling. "Well, if it doesn't work, we still have the zoo in São Paulo.", she said, in that voice full of south american accent. "They were really needing something to feed the lions.". That made Linda flinch, all tied on the chair that she was. "Don't they have lion food out there?", Tenel protested.. "Of course they do, dearie, I was just kiddin' ". Just when she finished, someone knocked on the door. "Why, who could ever be?", Francie asked. Anna opened up the door. "Yes, sir?", she asked to that strange guy in front of her, staring at the doorway. "Oh, hello, miss. My name's Noel and I had just moved to this neighbourhood..."Just when he was about to finish his phrase a shout could be heard inside the house. "Tenel? Rea? What the bloody hell is going on?....".

"Tenel", Cyn whispered, "do you think this will work? I mean, I've been hearing that the things between them aren't tahe great..and what if he really wants to get rid of her?". Anna simply looked up to the ceiling. "Well, if it doesn't work, we still have the zoo in São Paulo.", she said, in that voice full of south american accent. "They were really needing something to feed the lions.". That made Linda flinch, all tied on the chair that she was. "Don't they have lion food out there?", Tenel protested.. "Of course they do, dearie, I was just kiddin' ". Just when she finished, someone knocked on the door. "Why, who could ever be?", Francie asked. Anna opened up the door. "Yes, sir?", she asked to that strange guy in front of her, staring at the doorway. "Oh, hello, miss. My name's Noel and I had just moved to this neighbourhood..."Just when he was about to finish his phrase a shout could be heard inside the house. "Tenel? Rea? What the bloody hell is going on?....".

"Thru the otherside of the mirror you will go. Go ask Alice so... Somewhere out there you will find why the last pargraph entered two times and where's Tenel Ka. Give you a hint...................." . And the connection broke down.

But for some reason, G was being very quiet...which was of course, extremely unusual. "G?" Asked Anna. "Gee?" Tenel Ka said, confused. "No. G. What's going on?" She was staring wide eyed at the one who said his name was Noel, and everyone thought it would be a good idea to take a look at him. This, however, was a mistake. He had somehow turned into a nasty, horrid thing that doesn't even deserve description. "THIS is what the other side of the mirror is like?" Cyn asked, staring at the Noel-blob in disgust. "Let me explain..." Linda began.

"Well.... noel here, and his barely-human borther who i don't want to talk about cuz well... it's a long, dirty story.." Linda continued with a grin. "Well, you see, don't tell anyone, but i'm not really human at all. I just go around pretending to be this blonde ditz and get rock stars to marry me to get all the girls pissed off. Cool huh?" Tenel Ka, G, Francie, Anna and cyn (not Cyn Lennon, cyn from the web boards) sat there open-mouthed. "WHAT??" they all yelled in unison. "Yes," Linda went on "You see i'm not really human at all, I'm really...

A beast foul and rank on a mission so shallow, so lurid that I cannot be comprehended by the feeble minds of you mere humans. With that she groweled and advanced upon her defencless victems.....she came closer....and closer.....until she heard a cry of battle eminating from behind her. She turned and looked, a vominous ooze dripping from her mouth to see none other than her adversary: Elenor Bron.

Upon seeing Elenor, Linda miraculously changed back into her human form and began crying. (for she saw that Paul was just coming through the mirror) "Ah, Linda, nice to see you again" Elenor purred. "Get out of here" Linda chocked out between sobs. "Why? You can't stand the sight of me just because Paul and me shagged eachother rotten, baby, YEAH?" (Linda tryed to remember where she had heard that phrase before...) "YES!" Linda yelped. "Well, it's no good, sweetie." Elenor went on "Everyone knows it. Paul just can't keep his pants up for five minutes. You're the only one that just can't get it through your thick head..." Just then Paul...

"how do you sleep you cu---...." john yelled in a high pitched scream. "what?" paul cried "you heard me you short sided narrow minded hypocrite!" paul looked down at his slightly dirty bare feet. the best thing to do in this situation was to ignore it. john was drunk again and he was talking to paul like he used to talk to cynthia. "yokooooooooooooo" john screamed as if his heart was breaking. "yooooookoooooooo"

Continued on Feb 04, 1998

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