Bagism: Library

Skywriting -- Feb 02, 1998
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December in New York City is beautiful at night. Lights celebrating the holiday season adorn every building, every pole and every sign. As if it were even possible, New York City comes to life even more during this time of the year.

John Lennon and Yoko Ono spent the day at the Hit Factory recording studio working on "Milk and Honey", the planned followup album to their recently released "Double Fantasy" album. Around 10:30 pm, they decided to go get a bite to eat. Originally, they were going to go to a deli for sandwiches. "Why don't we go home and see Sean?," John recommended. Sean Lennon, their five-year-old son was home with a nanny. "I'm sure Sean is already sleeping, but we can tuck him in then get some food."

As the limo driver, drove toward the Dakota building, John noticed a small billboard which read "WAR IS OVER (If you want it). Happy X-mas from John & Yoko." With a feeling of pride, John said "I can't believe people are still putting those things up after nearly 10 years." As the limo pulled up in front of the drive way of the Dakota building, John quickly got out and headed toward the entrance with Yoko several steps behind him.

"Mr. Lennon!," a man shouted from behind the shadows. As John turned to face the caller, the man crouched into a combat stance and fired several shots into John's back and chest. John struggled up some stairs and then fell to the floor holding his bleeding chest.

"John!," Yoko screamed as she rushed to her husband. "Oh my God, John's been shot! Please somebody help me! John it's going to be alright, please just hang in there!" Already John was losing conscience. He stared blanky into Yoko's eyes as she frantically tried her best to comfort him. "John please hang on!"

John struggled to reach Yoko's hand. As he took her hand in his and gave it a feeble squeeze, Yoko pleaded with him "John...don't you dare leave me alone!" But John could not keep his eyes open. "John...John...John..."

"John...John...John Winston Lennon!," John's aunt Mimi yelled up from the bottom of the stairs. John was upstairs in his bedroom struggling to learn to play his first guitar. "John, come down...your friend Pete is here." As John came running down the stairs with guitar in hand, Aunt Mimi reminded him "The guitar is alright John, but you'll never earn a living at it!"

As John came down the stairs to meet Pete, he couldn't help thinking about the strange dream he had just woke up from. It was like he could still feel the hurt from the shots. He came down and saw Pete there, and everything was all right again. He shouted a quick goodbye to his aunt, and the he hurried out the door with Pete right behind him. A new day had started.

It was a beautiful morning and the sun was shining bright. "Let's skip school today, Pete. It's so bloody boring--why don't we just go hang out in the park and learn a couple of new songs? It's such a gorgeous day." All of a sudden, Cyn sees John from the other street and runs up to him. "Goodmorning my love!" she says. "What are YOU doing out of school??" said a surprised John. "It's Saturday, John--no school." The three of them walked down to the park and sat there learning Buddy Holly songs all morning long. Somewhere at half past noon, a man in a black coat came up to them and said...

"Aren't you boys the three who live on or near Corona street?" he asked. The man was an elder and had a long black leather jacket and a pair of grey dress pants. From what the young boys could see, he was also wearing a suit of kind underneath. When they asked "who are you?", he replied that he was Stephen Duthie who was the former sheriff of Lucan Ontario in Canada. He had recently went into retirement and had wanted to find something to do for the rest of his senior life.

The man continued to tell the boys about his life as a sheriff and how much he missed the fulfillment he felt as working as a sheriff. Just this was all occuring while the boys were sitting on the U-shaped bench that surronded the city's glorious fountain on that quiet saturday morning. They were beginning to get bored as most younger childer do of the old stories of the old days told by older people. As the man told them that he was going to have to go home before his wife would be angery at his tardyness, one of the boys began humming one of the tunes that he had always hummed while they were playing with toys or getting a bath. This struck old Steve's ears like the strings of a violin had in his younger years. He new in a moment what he had had under his nose all morning. Just the talent he had been looking for... but he had to go home to his wife, Susan, who was very impatient. "i will see you kids later," said Steve. "yeah, great story you told us, sir," said Pete seriously. Steve took one last look at the teddy boys. He knew that either both of these kids or one them was gonna be big. He straightened his jacket and walked slowly back home, to his sweet home. Maybe he'll see them tommorow, but as his faithful wife always said, "tommorw never knows." When it looked like Stephen had left, pete and john took a deep breath and started laughing hysterically. "I thought the old fart would never shut up!" laughed Pete. Cyn playfully pushed Pete in the shoulder. " how can you say such a mean thing, pete??" John stopped strumming the guitar and joined the conversation going on. "come on, cyn. i was gonna go to sleep listening to him." They all had a good laugh about the old man. Pete and John soon came to the conclusion that they were going to play a prank on the old man the next day. But not right now, they wanted to...

get rid of Cyn. Not that they didn't like her or anything, but they wanted to go do "guy stuff" and she just wouldn't understand... Just then an incredibly attractive dark haired guy rounded the corner. John noticed Cyn's eyes almost bulge out of her head and her knees start shaking as the stranger approached her....

he was suave, he was debonair... He completely IGNORED John and Pete and headed right for Cyn, as if she were the centre of gravity. "Hi, my name's Paul" he said in his most seductive voice as he reached for Cyn's... hand and kissed it. cyn shrugged her shoulders and giggled in embarassment. she immediately looked to john, who was fuming behind them. paul took no notice of this, and stared deep into cyn's eyes. "um.." she said shakily. john could take no more of this. he grabbed paul's hand and spoke loudly "well PAUL she's cynthia and i'm john and this is me best friend in the world, stu and we're very pleased to meet you." he spoke a little too loudly and shook paul's hand a little too roughly for paul's taste, but in a way paul was impressed with this reaction. he could tell from the start that john and cyn were involved...

"oh, err...sorry about that John." Paul scoffed, he raised his glance to a couple of pretty girls across the street. Pretty girls came and went so quickly with Paul, but with such wit and looks, it all rolled like water off a duck's back. "Paul, Paul...I'm glad I found you..." it was George a younger friend of Paul's. "Not now, George." Paul always treated him like the underdog, but it was understandable, George was younger than him. At that moment the sjky started to turn purple and the ground began to heave. Soon all the people in the street were sent flying through the air like stars...this included Stu, John, Paul and George as well as Cyn, and the two pretty girls across the street...but the thing that amazed them the most was a lad aout their age with a rather large nose was flying through the air with them... "Hello..." he floated back and forth... "I'm Ringo..."

and they wanted him to join a long. He shrugged and said," You know, chaps, that wanting to blow up London could be such a dangerous deal." John's eyes widened and he exclaimed, "Damn, how did you find out? It was top secret.! Cynthia, if you did this, I swear, I'll beat the bloody..."Paul jumped back in, "NO! I read your mind." John let go of Cyn and she slunk backwards into the shadows for fear John would eventually attack her. John looked at Paul and grinned, "Yeah, thats the plan. But now,. heres your choice, join us and destroy the Queen's romping grounds, or if you refuse, then we'll have no choice but to kill you.Do we have a deal?" He put his hand out. Paul thought for a moment and received John's sturdy grip. "ok, now here's the plan...

"No fellas i don't think this is a good idea.Sure, the monarchy sucks but hell, i could wack off all day instead and i would rather do that!"John said with that cocky grin on his face."I am going home so Cyn and i can spend some time together...damn hippies..."he mumbled as he walked away.

"damn hippies?"Paul asked questiongly. He started to follow John but thought against it. The world was still floating. "I sure wish NASA would get this under control." Paul said goodbye to his friends. He started to walk towards the harbor when a young blond came his way. She looked confused and disoriented. He smiled and offered his assistance. She smiled wryly and said, " yes, no...oh, I dont know." She started crying. Paul tried to quiet her down, "there, there"..She backed away"you dont understand. He wants to kill me. He said..."She pressed her head into Paul's shoulder."Please, dont let him hurt me. Not again." Paul felt her hair and lokked into her deep blue eyes. "I wont let him hurt you." He kissed away her tears."I promise."Then she looked up at him and they both leaned into a long, warm kiss. Soon they were interrupted by a gruff voice, "Hey!!"... "Hey..get your lips off of him!"...A man wearing deep blue bellbottoms..and a tight red shirt came up from behind. "I know you like him and all, but we've got to go back to the recording studio! C'mon Paul!" The man grabbed Paul by the hand...and Paul yelled, "Nice kissin' ya!" "Now, Paul..what was that all about?...how do you expect Linda to react??..I'm sure she won't take this lightly!" "Ah...forget about it", said Paul shrugging it off.."you know what I think I;d rather kiss you!" Paul jokingly pretends to kiss Norm.

Paul (the cute one) goes for a walk to look hip and groovy for the ladies. Paul (the cute one) notices the Backstreet Boys walking across the street, Abbey Road style of course. He calls to them "Good-day! And how are you this fine misty British morning?" Nick Gene Carter (the blonde one) said "Aren't you one of those Rolling Stone guys?" Kevin (the oldest one) spoke out "You idiot! He's from....umm" AJ supplies "The Beatles!!! Oh sweet!" Nick spoke again "I'm sick of tea and crumpets, I need a taco!" Howie and Brian look at each other, wink wink, nudge nudge, smile and nod. Suddenly a group of screaming BEATLE fans, race out from behind a car and towards Paul (the cute one). But before they reach Paul (the cute one) they are sidetracked by Nick's blue eyes, which they got lost in and tried to find their way out for a few minutes, to no avail. They all flocked to Nick and forgot Paul (the cute one) much to Paul's (the cute one's) dismay. Paul (the cute one) storms away saying "I don't like this, I'm going...

But meanwhile, Linda was in BIG trouble... Mick had seen the whole thing. Yes, big-lipped, big-headed Jagger had seen it all. He had met the blonde groupie (who later in bed had introduced herself as Linda) when she came to one of their parties as a "photographer" and they had been sleeping together on-and-off for months now, and Mick, as usual, was getting possessive. Linda was scared as hell. But she had this major problem, that every time she went for help, some stupid guy would mistaken it as a come-on and end up causing her even more trouble when Micky found out. But this had been different... this Paul guy... but how could she think about that now? Mick was running towards her, fast, uttering phrases even a British Rock star would be shocked at (if there's any such thing) Poor Linda didn't really know about the huge Stones VS. Beatles thing that was always going on, so she didn't realize how significant what she had just done had been. Mick's girl runs off with a Beatle? it just couldn't happen. No way. And Mick new it, and he was heading right for her, waving his guitar like a lunatic....

but then Austin Powers grabbed Linda's arm and took her into his car. "ohmigod! you're... Austin Powers, International Man of Mystery," screamed Linda. "Yeah, baby, yeah! Danger is my middle name," said the terribly dressed englishman. Linda had no idea what the hell was happeneing. first paul kissed her (and it was REALLY good), mike is chasing her (which is not REALLY good) and austin powers picks her up (which could be REALLY good). But as she looked at austin's sexy body, all these memories of mike and paul disappeared and soon she felt such a deep love for this... mysterious man. She still had no idea why she was in the car but... she didn't care. The car kept driving on and on and on til it was in the country. Austin parked the car. "linda baby, i know we haven't met really (or shagged) but i think you are such a groovy chick and i have to talk to you about something... it's a secret mission and the queen needs your photographer-ish help!!!," said Austin.

Continued on Feb 03, 1998

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